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Thursday, 16 June 2011

This is gonna be the best summer EVER!

I currently live in Canada and summer is only about three weeks long, so it's really important to make the most of it. Sometimes I find myself thinking, "Ahh, what a beautiful day. This is a day for adventure! This will be a day to remember!!!". Then I sit in my basement getting high and playing guitar hero all day because I don't know what kind of adventure to have. NOT ANYMORE. I have compiled a list of awesome stuff I'm going to do this summer, and because I'm practically a saint, I'm going to share it with you. Watch out, Mother Theresa, there's a new girl on the block and she's kind of smelly and ready for fun.  Do everything on this list and I promise you'll be one of those people everyone is secretly jealous of on facebook.

Photo from
Lay on your roof and watch a meteor shower
If you can't get onto your roof, or you're a wuss and afraid of heights, drive your car away from the city lights and lay on your car.  Meteor showers are awesome, plenty of falling stars to wish on and it reminds you that you are a tiny, insignificant speck in the world.  I already knew that, but I just love being reminded that I'm not special.  According to the best time this summer for meteor watching is late July and the first week of August, with the prime time being an hour or two before dawn.

Attach a note to some balloons and set them free
It's like a twee version of a message in a bottle.  You could write anonymous affirmations on a bunch of balloons.  Or if you're a dick like me, you just write obnoxious things.  How funny would it be if someone found a balloon with a note, and the note said "Your hair looks stupid today".  I tried this at a bar I worked at,  we attached a gift certificate and set it free, where it immediately got stuck in some trees right outside the bar. So when you do this, open spaces are key.

Learn to blow awesome bubbles and take awesome pictures
AWESOME!  But in all seriousness, bubbles are fucking cool.  Most dollar stores sell a plethora of different bubble juices and dispensers.  The one I'm using in the picture above is a stretched out oval shape, and it worked really well.  My favorite thing about bubbles is you can get some really cool pictures.  I'm planning on writing an article soon about how to make really massive ones, so stay tuned.

Make a Flower Crown
Deep down we all just wanted to be fairy princess who've been plucked from the pages of a Francesca Lia Block novel.  Well, maybe that's just me.  I love wearing flowers in my hair, and when I was a florist I used any special occasion as an excuse to make a massive floral headpiece.  Of course, I never had the presence of mind to take pictures and make a tutorial, but lucky for me the nice lady at Bluebird Vintage did.  So check it out, make your crown and flounce around in a field singing Disney songs.

Have a water balloon fight
There are a few key tips to having (and winning) a fantastic water balloon fight.  First, and most importantly, don't get lazy and use condoms.  It may seem funny at first, but you will end up covered in lube.  Second, no matter how many balloons you have in your arsenal, it's not enough and you will run out.  Third, the best way to fix your lack of balloons and ensure you win the fight is steal all your opponents balloons and then fucking PUMMEL them!  Oh, and make sure you fill the balloons as full as you possibly can.  You don't want your pathetic, impotent weapon bouncing off your adversary's arm.   

photo from
Have a bitchin' picnic
Everybody loves a good picnic, especially one with copious amounts of wine.  You can pack those cute little plastic wine glasses and pretend to be civilized.  Just make sure you remember a corkscrew as well, I always forget the corkscrew.  You don't want any food that's too fussy, so try to bring stuff that doesn't require plates and forks.  Cheese and crackers are always good, and cheese actually tastes better when it's not cold.  I know this because I had a job that made me go through cheese training, just to expand on my pointless knowledge.  Try making things like tuna wraps and other finger foods that are easy to drunkenly cram in your face.

Make your own tasty summer drinks
The above photo is a picture of the greatest thing I have ever done with my life.  Ginger, lime and mint soda.  It is so tasty, I really think I should bottle and sell the stuff, but since I'm about to post the recipe here one of you jerks will probably do it first.  Take half a lime sliced into wedges, some fresh mint leaves and a teaspoon of sugar and muddle together.  Pour in half soda and half ginger beer and top up with ice cubes.  So simple, SO delicious.  

Make postcard collages and send them to your internet friends
Ok, I guess you could send them to friends in real life but not all of us are so popular, Mr. Cool.  I love making collages, in fact I liked the one pictured above so much that I framed it and put it in my house.  I find that magazines with high fashion editorials have most collage-able pictures.  Everything used in the above one was from Zink! magazine, but Vogue or W would probably do the trick as well.

Play frisbee
It's all in the wrist.  Frisbee is fantastic because even extremely un-athletic people like myself can excel at it.  If you decide you're really keen on it, you can even have a round of frisbee golf.  The way I play it is to fill a backpack full of beer (that's very, very important) pick an object in the distance, give it a par and try to hit the object in that many throws.  There is actually a Professional Disc Golf Association who would most likely disagree with all of that, but fuck them.  If you want to know more, wikipedia has you covered.  

Go camping your backyard
If you don't have a tent, just do what they've done in the picture above.  All you need is string and some blankets and you've got yourself a sleepover!  You can make s'mores and and stay up all night telling ghost stories.  I pretty much just use my nightmares as ghost stories.  Take last night's dream, for example, "then as she stepped into the forest, she saw dead bodies hanging from all the trees.  She slowly reached up and realized there was a noose around her own neck!".  Thanks for that one, subconscious.

Make a documentary about something funny with your friends
It can honestly be about anything.  We just filmed one about swings that are shaped like diaphragms.  It's in the editing process right now, but just you wait.  It was just a fun excuse to spend the day goofing off and being mildly narcissistic.  Windows Movie Maker comes with most windows operating systems and it's pretty user friendly.  Here's an example of one we made a while ago about a holiday we invented called Haice (my spell check keeps trying to change it to Ha Ice, as if that's better).

So there you have.  A recipe full of summer fun and debauchery.  Now, I can't lie, I haven't actually done a lot of this stuff yet, but I will.  I totally will, and I'll take tons of photos, put them on facebook and let the avarice begin! 


  1. I love your balloons, bubbles and the tasty drink ideas ;]. Makes me feel like doing something awesome this summer! And I shall~ Thanks for the inspiration! :D

  2. You will not regret the drink idea, it's amazing!


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